Are You Willing To Be Someone’s Dr. Knutson?
How taking time to listen can forever change someone’s life.
I believe that our most challenging circumstances allow us to discover our true potential. For me, my journey began on October 9th, 2011. It was the day I found out that I would be homeless.
The only consistent option that I had was to sleep in the back of my Father’s 1992 Chevy Conversion van. I had no car to commute to school, so I would get dropped off at Viterbo University in the morning and stay on campus until I could get picked up. I would have dinner with my parents and then go to the van to do my best to study and complete any school work.
I set a plan very early: go to class, take notes, exchange pleasantries with classmates, but do not overshare. “Nobody needs to know what you’re going through.” I tried to be as anonymous on campus as I could. I showed up to class, took notes on what I thought was relevant, and quickly found a place where I could be alone when I wasn’t attending a class. Each night when I went to study or write a paper, I wasn’t able to recall much of anything that occurred just a few hours prior. As a result, my grades began to fall dramatically.
Struggling in school was nothing new to me. I graduated high school with a 1.9-grade point average. I fell asleep while taking the ACT, which contributed to me scoring a 16. I went to Western Technical College, where I was academically suspended for having a 0.9 grade-point average after two years of attending. For most of my life, education was not a priority for me.
After experiencing the financial hardship without secondary education, I realized that it would be doubtful to avoid the generational poverty that so many of my family members had experienced prior. I contemplated my circumstance and landed with the realization that a college degree would allow me the opportunity to work toward something that I was passionate about. What that was, I had no idea.
I had to go back to the college that accepted me first and had to meet with several stakeholders to explain my academic history. At the same time, also provide reasoning as to how a second opportunity would be different. I was conditionally reinstated at Western, in which I had to obtain a 3.0-grade point average to stay as an active student, which I had never achieved before.
I met with an advisor to map out a way for me to be successful, and she proposed to me that I find a part-time job to provide some financial security while evaluating what I wanted to study. Having a long history of working with children, I chose an after-school tutor position.
After just a few weeks of interacting with kids, I knew that I wanted to become an educator. For the first time in my life, I had a long-term vision. My grades improved, and in 2010 I transferred to Viterbo University to study Elementary Education. Paying for my education myself in the financial circumstance that I was in posed a significant risk. If college truly didn’t work out for me, the likelihood of long-term economic instability was enormously high.
I applied for grants (there wasn’t much outside of the Pell Grant due to my academic history), took out loans, and took a chance on myself. I only had one option: graduate college. I remember playing out every decision that I had made while staring blankly at a computer screen in my dad’s Conversion van. Where did I go wrong? Is there a mistake that I had made along the way? Was there something that I hadn’t accounted for? Even more problematic was the question that consistently manifested into my subconscious with every waking moment: what am I going to do now?
The emotions and stress that accompanied my past struggles began to take root into the perception of who I was. I was bound to fail. People like me weren’t meant to get a college degree. Failing is all that you’ve done in the past; why would it be any different now? I knew something had to give. I either had to share my current living situation that hindered me from staying current on my coursework, or I was going to drop out and seek employment as a quick-fix solution. Since dropping out was not an option, that left me with the very thing that I wanted nothing to do with: telling someone I was homeless.
I changed my approach for a few days that followed. I showed up to class and took notes like I usually did. However, rather than taking notes on content that I was not likely to retain, I took notes on my professors. I knew that I was too fragile to approach someone and express my challenges only to hear something like, “thank you for sharing; now get your grades up.” I didn’t know what I needed, but having an interaction based on academics would not remedy the state of crisis I had been in for two weeks.
After a few days of taking notes, I concluded that Dr. Keith Knutson would be the person I shared my situation with. He appeared to be the most approachable and understandable and routinely found ways to highlight the injustice that pertained to the content he was distributing to us. I approached him after class and scheduled a meeting with him the next day.
As I approached Dr. Knutson’s office, I noticed a large stack of papers that he was in the middle of grading, and it was clear that he was busy. I opened the door, sat on the closest chair available to me, and looked straight down. I had everything that I wanted to highlight prepared, but nothing was coming to mind. After what felt like several minutes, he asked how I was doing. It took everything in me to say something as it felt as if I had forgotten how to speak. However, I was able to force myself to respond with only two critical words: “I’m homeless.”
Dr. Knutson took a moment, grabbed his keys, and asked if I was available for lunch. I agreed, and we went to a restaurant across the street where he listened to me explain my situation for 2 hours. After hearing everything, he was forthright in saying that he didn’t have an immediate solution to my living situation. Still, he would reach out to different channels to help me find stable housing. He also assured me that he would extend all of my assignments and reach out to my other professors to provide the same accommodations.
I didn’t know what I needed going into the conversation, but I left knowing that I have found the remedy to the state of my crisis. I needed someone to listen. I still had to do the work to catch up, and my other professors were understanding and accomodating. It was no longer a challenge for me to remain focused and driven to overcome my living situation because I knew that I had support. I had someone who was determined to partner with me in persevering.
Not long after, Viterbo Residence Life provided an opportunity to live on campus for the following semester, which brought an end to spending my evenings in the back of a van. I ended up graduating with honors, and I left with an entirely different perception of serving others. Because of Dr. Knutson’s support, I fulfilled my dream of graduating from college and becoming a licensed educator. I entered the workforce inspired and encouraged to pass on the service that Dr. Knutson and so many other professors had done for me.
“When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it.”- Paulo Coelho
